Getting Back to Your Wild and Free
By the time I was in my thirties, I had everything I thought I’d always wanted. The big corporate job. The nice house. Husband and two kids. And from the outside looking in, I had it all. But from the inside looking out, my life felt empty. I was finally where I’d wanted to be my whole career but was left with the distinct feeling of –
“This is it? This is what I worked so hard for?” Isn’t there more to life than this?”
I chastised myself for having these thoughts and felt super ungrateful. I had a beautiful life, more than most people had. “Who was I to be wanting more?” I pushed my feelings aside, burying them deeper and deeper, hoping that if I hid them, I might not be able to feel them.
I wrestled with wanting to be happier, but not knowing how to get there. “If all of this doesn’t make me happy, what will? Maybe one day, I’ll find my real purpose, and then I’ll make some changes. Then I’ll be happy. But until that day comes…”
I kept thinking I would find something on the outside that would make me happy on the inside.
And so, every day I left the house for my big fancy job. Everyone saw my cute little pencil skirt, but what they couldn’t see was the crushing weight on my chest. I abandoned my wild and adventuring ways of my youth , in exchange for becoming the person I thought the world wanted me to be.
I continued to work myself to the bone, until collapsing in a heap of exhaustion and overwhelm. And a very bad case of bronchitis. A very perceptive and caring friend of mine, who was aware of how unhappy I’d become, suggested I see a Spiritual Coach – Anne Bérubé. I had no idea what she might be able to do for me, but by that point, I had nothing to lose.
In our first session, the first of many – she asked me if I wanted to meditate with her.
I’d never meditated before, and thought it a strange thing to do together. But I was willing to try just about anything. And that day, sitting across from her in her office, I experienced something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Inside my own body, there was a sensation that felt familiar and foreign all at once.
It wasn’t that I was meeting myself for the first time. It was more like remembering who I’d once been.
After that session, I knew I needed more. I wanted to experience that feeling on a daily basis. I wanted to know how I could be that sensation; so I could bring that part of me out into the world.
I’ve since learned that society and our environment conditions us to be a certain way in order to fit in, succeed and protect ourselves from failure. Trouble is that this conditioning can also disconnect us from who we really are.
I’d become a high achiever working in a corporate world, a long way from the little girl I’d once been.
Meditation allows us to communicate with ourselves on a level not possible when using the mind alone. We need our brains to function, but society’s focus on the intellect has forced us to disconnect from our bodies and souls.
I now have a regular meditation practice. It’s become one of my non-negotiables – I can’t be me without it. I use it as my daily course correction, my internal compass. With so much noise happening on the outside, it helps me stay connected and aligned.
Meditation reconnects you with your core,your spark, the magic of what makes you,
So there’s only one version of you… the YOU that you’re meant to be.
I’d love to hear about your experience with meditation. And if you haven’t tried my free guided meditation, you can get it here . This liberating meditation will help you get out of your head, and reconnect with your body’s wisdom. Tell me in the comments below. What insights has meditation brought you?
If you have a friend who might benefit from this conversation or the free meditation, please share. And remember, if you’re just starting out, go easy of yourself. Meditation is like anything else – it takes time, patience and practice. The clarity you’re looking for may not come overnight, but if you give it a chance, the whispers of your soul will come alive. They want to be heard. All you have to do is commit to listening.
Keep on seeking your wild and free.
Sending you so much love,